I'll just say it up front: I'm pale.

Always have been, always will be. Mine is the type of skin that burns if it gets anywhere near the sun's rays, then just fades out. I never even get to enjoy the pleasure of it turning from a burn to a tan.

Not satisfied with this condition, I've been on a multi-year quest for a proper self-tanner. Some turn orange, some streak, some don't fade evenly, leaving you to look somewhat like a backwards leopard, with white spots on orange skin. This extensive testing has cost me a lot in loofahs, scrubs, and moisturizers, just to fix the damage.

On my lovely friend Maggie's recommendation, I decided to try St. Tropez. The Instant Tanning System comes with a scrub, a moisturizer (both of which smell lovely), and a bottle of tanner (which smells heinous and is the color of Hershey's syrup). I went through all the steps - scrub away all my rough skin, moisturize knees, ankles and elbows, then slather on the tinted self-tanner. Since it's tinted it got everywhere - clothes, sheets and couch - but a few hours later I washed off the excess and was left with an even, streakless tan. Not orange, not burnt-looking - just me, but darker. As if I had actually gotten a natural tan!

Word to the wise: St. Tropez is great, but I would strongly advise you to invest in their Self-Tan Remover as well. When you apply this stuff, your palms WILL turn a hideous brown/green color, but the tan remover will take that right off.