How would you feel about brushing with espresso-flavored toothpaste? How about a curry-flavored variety? I've dabbled in the arena of designer toothpastes with brands like Marvis, but never before have I seen such offbeat flavors as those offered by Breath Palette. To me, some of these seem like the dental care equivalent of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans (the grotesque jelly beans inspired by the Harry Potter books, which come in flavors like ear wax and dirt).


I thought people brushed their teeth to rid their mouths of coffee, Indian food, and the like. But, I guess there's a market for this somewhere out there. It does indeed take all kinds.

I've listed the flavors in the Breath Palette Deluxe 31-Flavor Toothpaste Kit, which, by the way, retails for $160 at Neiman Marcus. Some of them are, admittedly, intriguing - I really would love to try Rose, White Peach, and California Orange. But for every delicious idea, there's a gross one close behind. The ones I find particularly vile are in caps.

1-Sweet Salt 2-Tropical Pineapple 3-Peppermint 4-FRESH YOGURT 5-Green Tea 6-Rose 7-Monkey Banana 8-Honey 9-Kiwi Fruit 10-CAFE AU LAIT 11-Plum 12-Fuji Apple 13-Vanilla 14-INDIAN CURRY 15-Strawberry 16-California Orange 17-Kyoto Style Tea 18-White Peach 19-Japanese Plum 20-Lavender 21-Darjeeling Tea 22-Cinnamon 23-Grape 24-Lemon Tea 25-Bitter Chocolate 26-Blueberry 27-Caramel 28-L'ESPRESSO 29-Grapefruit 30-PUMPKIN PUDDING 31-Cola