Aveeno Tanner Promises Radiance, Delivers Radioactive Fallout - Beauty Addict

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Aveeno Tanner Promises Radiance, Delivers Radioactive Fallout

When I mentioned a terribly disappointing self-tanner from a drugstore brand with a reputation for being gentle and natural, reader Molly guessed it correctly - Aveeno.

Aveeno Continuous Radiance Moisturizing Lotion seems like such a cool idea; it has two chambers, one filled with moisturizer and one with tanner, and you turn a dial to select the tanner-to-moisturizer ratio that's right for you (from 1 to 5). The day before some pretty big meetings with our German team, I dialed up the Aveeno to 3 and slathered it on. We were scheduled to go on a dinner cruise, and you simply can't board a boat in this gorgeous weather sporting Casper legs.

Now, I generally find "gradual" tanners to be a little too gradual, and end up buying them in Medium or Dark to accelerate the process. So, I wasn't expecting much from my setting of "3" on the Aveeno bottle. Unfortunately, 8 hours later I was left with a glowing orange "tan" with some pretty mysterious streaks.

95% of the time, when a tanner streaks, it's your fault. Yes, girls, I know this news is hard to take, but I really believe it's true. If you don't apply the tanner evenly, it's going to streak. This is why tinted tanners are so handy; you can see where you've put them. So when is it the fault of the product, and not you?

1. When the tanner is too thick to spread evenly

2. When the tanner is so thin that it runs or migrates

3. When the tanner is mixed with something and doesn't mix evenly

As you're probably guessing, I suspect that #3 was at the heart of the problem with Aveeno. Since the tanner isn't tinted, there's no way to tell if it's completely mixed with the moisturizer when it leaves the bottle. Hence the streaks in some really odd places: forearms, calves and tummy, not to mention the usual suspects like wrists and ankles.

And even worse than the streaks, the color was atrocious. I actually had a male colleague comment on how bad it was, which was beyond embarrassing. Fortunately he told me his wife had just done the very same thing last week, which made it a little better, but still!

I had attempted to scrub off some of this monstrosity, but on a fresh tan that's that dark, it's pretty difficult to completely erase it. I had managed to get most of it off my hands, but this left me looking like I was wearing white gloves. I tried to camouflage with lots of bracelets and a little bronzer on the backs of my hands, but it still looked scary, especially in natural light. When we were on that dinner cruise, the sun couldn't set fast enough.

Needless to say, I won't be tempting fate with this one again -- even at a setting of "1."