This is what happens when you trust a self-tanner to do its job and it doesn't deliver. FAIL!

The pale didn't look so bad in artificial light but when I got out into the sun it was revealed in all its pallid glory. As you can see, my skin is nearly blue. I'm all for the Nicole Kidman/Marcia Cross pale look, but my skin has never had the "porcelain" quality of theirs, so...no thanks.

Shortly after this photo was taken I dug out a can of MAC Skinsheen Leg Spray from my massive, Mary Poppins-esque beach bag and proceeded to rectify the situation. (Yes, I know, schlepping that around is completely crazy, but I am practically living like a hobo these days between two different cities so my various bags often have oddball contents, ok?)

Crazy as it may seem, I was glad to find that MAC spray in my bag. And it was seriously by accident! I think it got into my beach bag when I was packing up the weekend before, trying to escape a bad situation at a summer house.

Despite a couple of funny looks from some fellow beachgoers I gave my pasty skin a nice coating of Skinsheen in Medium Dark, which took the edge off the pastiness without looking strange or fake. I'm really in awe of this stuff. I applied a whole load of Neutrogena Body Mist sunblock on top of it and it didn't budge. I traipsed through some waves, perspired a bit (it was 90 degrees) and it STILL didn't come off. Transfer was very, very minimal, with just a bit of brown on the inside edges of my bikini.

All but the Deep Dark are currently sold out online, but you can probably hunt them down in stores and on counter. Highly recommended!