Victoria Jackson, Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Beauty Addict

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Victoria Jackson, Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Hi, lovelies! I decided that my "comeback post" couldn't just be any old product review or collection news (although I do feel the need to spill a couple tidbits, like Sally Hershberger shampoo is crap, and Clinique lip gloss in Honey Shimmer is amazing).

And it couldn't be a run-of-the-mill Grammy beauty roundup (although I will say three things: Sheryl Crow and Jennifer Hudson looked particularly amazing, Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel are obviously the same person, and Joe Jonas has weird legs, yep).

No, no, it had to be a story, something so bizarre that it could only happen to me.

I was waiting in line at a vile-smelling post office recently, when I observed this rather loud woman (who looked like Jennifer Hudson, incidentally), schmoozing her way down the line of customers. Huh? Did she just happen to run into people she knew? Was she a postal worker coming off shift?

Not so, my friends. She was on duty in a different way.

I was busily answering a text when she approached me with a massive smile. "Well good afternoon! Here's a FREE goody bag for you," she said, as she slipped a small black shopping bag onto my arm. "Have you heard of Victoria Jackson cosmetics?"

Before I could answer, she launched into a frenzied sales pitch, busting out this utterly atrocious eye palette and showing it off. At some point during said pitch, she made a hastily-uttered comment about the palette being the only thing in the goody bag that I had to pay for. That for $20 I could have the palette and everything else in the bag. Ummm...?

"Hold up," says I. "You gave me a 'GOODY BAG' that I have to pay for? Are you shitting me?" And yes, I actually cussed in the post office, heh. I was having a bad day.

She batted her eyes, flashed a smile, and continued to extol the virtues of the "goody bag," as if I hadn't even said a word. Clearly I was not interested in buying this crap -- as the memory of Victoria Jackson infomercials from the early 90s came back to me -- so I gave her back the bag of tricks and moved on.

But WOW. That's, um, ballsy, don't you think? Pitching potential customers via negative option marketing, at the post office, no less? Is that even legal? I guess the economy is forcing the sales types to become even more aggressive than ever. I give her credit for innovation, but wow, she gets an A in Annoyance.